an·ec·dote 2

I have officially been in Nigeria for over a month now, it is the longest I have ever stayed in the country! It’s a major mark for me :-). While I’ve been here though, I am reminded more and more how “un-African” I am. However I am currently making a conscious effort to blend in better into the community. That brings me to anecdote 2!

an·ec·dote 2: See yo mouth jus formin’ phonay! You are not in London o!

Since I’ve been in Nigeria I have noticed a lot of people do not understand me when I talk. There have been several instances where I want to order something and they just look at me or shout, “WE NO HAVE AM” (For my non-pigeon English readers: WE DON’T HAVE IT). Funny enough if I have a friend nearby that is a native they will ask of the same item and they will magically get the server to bring out what they just said they didn’t have! I would think to myself, what kind of juju (voodoo) does my friend have to make them bring out what they just denied me????!!! What ever it was, I too wanted the juice (the it factor that made them do what they said)

It wasn’t until last week at the hospital that I found my own juice via a random encounter. I went to the small corner store located at the pediatric ward to buy a coke. When I get there, two older ladies meet me, and before I open my mouth, I remember, and tell myself “they don’t call it soda, Seyi, they call it mineral,” so I go to the lady and proudly ask for “mineral.” The face the lady made after I asked for the mineral was out of this world, her face was twisted up, then she replied “MINERULL? WHAT’S A MINERULL? U MEAN Mee-NAY-RAL!!! SEE YO MOUTH JUS FORMIN’ PHONAY, YOU ARE NOT IN LONDON O!” I proceeded to burst out laughing while thinking to myself "LONDON??? I've never been to London *side note-unless flight layovers count haha*." The old lady went on to explain, my phonay (phonetics) was not accepted here, and that I needed to talk like a Nigerian. LOL.

That following day, I was out in a mini market and wanted to buy bottled water, I initially forgot my “juice,” and simply asked for a “bottle of water,” the store attendant replied with a loud “henh???” I then remembered what the old lady told me the previous day, and then replied “BOTTLE WARTAAAAAAA,” the store attendant then smiled, walked away and returned with an ice-cold bottle of water. I calmly paid for the item and left, BUT inside I was screaming YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, I finally figured it out, I was so ecstatic I wanted to burst out into skelewu (a dance song)!

Funny enough, my time spent in Nigeria has shown me, that when in Rome (you all heard of the saying)…I was so scared of coming off as patronizing that I was missing the opportunity to assimilate into a culture that is welcoming and open. I was initially afraid to speak in accent, but through my many funny encounters, I am learning that Nigeria is open to me trying to speak in accent, so I should be open to it too, it’s not patronizing instead it’s showing my effort in absorbing the culture!